Hobbit #2 is raising money for pediatric cancer research. She is participating in an event where she will shave her hair in solidarity with children who lose their hair to cancer treatment. She will be completely bald at this time tomorrow.
The Hobbit originally set her fundraising goal at $500. She really just hoped to raise enough for a free tee shirt. When donations began to come in, we raised her goal to a scary $1,500. Now, she has brought in over $3,000 and donations are still coming in. People have responded with astonishing generosity.
My 11-year-old child is the top fundraiser of 160 people participating in her event.
I could not be more proud. And I could not be more nervous for her.
This Hobbit is one of the strongest human beings I know. She is true to herself. She is not afraid to be different. She is not afraid to take risks. She feels deeply and stands strong for her beliefs.
She said to me, “Mom, I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel like I have a calling in my life. I feel compelled to do this.”
How can she be so wise at such a tender, young age? Her challenges in life have taken her to a place where she has learned to deeply know herself. When she shows insight like that, I believe her. I am amazed by her self-awareness. I carry her words within my heart.
I worry that the reality of being bald will be shocking compared to the idea of it.
I have seen lesser things test her to her limits, and I worry that she will go back to a place of uncontrolled anxiety.
I am afraid of trusting her to make such a risky decision, and of possibly seeing her hurt.
But I am trusting that she is strong enough to handle it. I want her to know that she should never be afraid to take chances and to make bold decisions. I want her to learn that big decisions come with risk, but they can also come with great rewards.
I don’t want to send her the message that big decisions are too scary. I don’t want her to play it safe in her life. I want her…..I want all of my Hobbits…..to know that I will cheer them on when they do big things.
Sometimes, big decisions work out better, or worse, than you could have predicted. But regardless of the outcome, you are stronger for having the courage to take chances.
I will cry tomorrow as the clippers begin to buzz. I will cry for how brave my Hobbit is. I will cry for how far she has come from where she was just one short year ago, when she battled demons that none of us could understand. I will cry for her bravery in standing up to her anxiety and fighting back.
I will cry as I watch her take a step of independence. I will cry because I know that I cannot always protect her.
Despite the tears, I will smile. My heart will nearly burst from pride. I will marvel at the support she will receive from her siblings. I will cry tears of joy.
My Hobbit will know she is loved and that her family is with her every step of the way through her life.
My Hobbit is destined for great things in her life. This is just the beginning. I can’t wait to see what is waiting for her.