“The wheels on the bus go ’round and ’round, ’round and ’round, ’round and ’round. The wheels on the bus go ’round and ’round, all through the town.”
Now, replace the words with these:
“I’m gonna run away and change my name, change my name, change my name. I’m gonna run away and change my name, so no one knows who I am.”
I created this little ditty when I was driving one day. There was nowhere for me to run…. nowhere to hide. I so desperately wanted to drown out the Hobbits that I began to sing to the only tune in my head.
The song is catchy. It’s rude. And it is perfect for belting at the top of your lungs when you just cannot take one more call of “mommmmm!”
I have been asked what I am doing with my time now that only one Hobbit is home during the day. I have been asked if she and I are enjoying our time together. I have been asked if I can please do a better job of cleaning the house and getting errands and projects done. (Guess who!)
There are times when it certainly feels like a luxury to have only one little face peering through the fog of my shower. Or only one fist pounding at the door while I pee. Or only one pair of shoes to find before we can leave the house.
There is only one vote on what to watch on television. I only have to make one lunch, because I’m just going to eat the crusts from her plate and save room for Oreo cookies at nap time.
I have no idea what I am doing with all of this “free” time I have found. I do get to read a chapter in a book here and there, and sometimes, I even flip through the new Time magazine at lunch.
Mostly, though, I just wish I could run away and change my name.
I argue with that little Hobbit all freaking day. About 80% of the time, I win.
When five Hobbits come home from school, it is like a herd of elephants just plowed through my front door. They charge in and trumpet for a snack. They vomit backpacks, papers, lunchboxes, sweatshirts, and stinky socks all over the front room. They argue and push and chatter incessantly about the “hilarious” things that happened. I use the term “hilarious” very loosely.
Every one of them ask what is for snack, even though the answer is the same every day. Every single one of them ask if they can play outside, even though the answer is the same every day. Every one of them ask what is for dinner, and they usually ask that one more than once.
Between 3:00 and 3:30, I have given at least six answers of “fruit or vegetables,” six replies of “not until you do your homework and chores,” and probably ten answers of my menu planning.
By the time Hubby comes home, I am ready to pull out my hair.
He will say something like, “you were fine when I talked to you a couple of hours ago. What happened?” He asks with genuine confusion, and I wonder the same thing.
What the hell happened?
The wheels on the bus stopped going ’round and ’round. The wheels fell completely off the stupid bus, and I did not run away and change my name when I had the chance.